I've heard that babies can speak to animals. Do you think this is true? I never did either. Until today, that is.
My baby boy and my sweet cat are conspiring against me. I don't think it was Cowpoke's idea. He really loves Mommy, and I just don't think he would have come up with the idea on his own. Cookie, on the other hand, has had it out for me since we brought this annoying baby home (her words...not mine). Or maybe Cowpoke doesn't even know about the plan, and is just a pawn in Cookie's game of revenge. Whatever it is, today it is driving me INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!
Cowpoke has decided today that he would really like to chew on Daddy's shoes. "No, no, Cowpoke. We don't chew on shoes. They're yucky." Turn my head for a second. "No, no Cowpoke. We don't chew on shoes. They're yucky." Put shoes away, and turn my head for a second. "What the heck?? Where did you find those?! No, no, Cowpoke. We don't chew on shoes. They're yucky." See the pattern? And how many shoes does Cowboy Man need? He's a man, for crying out loud!! Aren't they only supposed to need like 2 pairs of shoes?
So I finally distract him and get him playing with some acceptable toys, and start washing dishes. Suddenly my pajama pants hit the floor. What the? And there's Cowpoke, smiling, proud of himself for pantsing Mommy. (Now see, this is not an idea he would have come up with on his own...this is the work of a vengeful kitty cat!) So I pull my pants back up, tighten the draw string, and continue washing. Now he can't pull them down, but he can sure yank and yank on them and crawl all around my feet, in and out between my ankles. OK, that's kind of cute. Until Cookie decides he's not doing a good enough job of pushing Mommy over the edge. So she starts tirelessly running back and forth in the kitchen, jumping over Cowpoke's head. Of course she's barely clearing his head and giving me heart failure. OK...turn water off, pick Cowpoke up, put him back in living room, give him another toy, redirect Cookie into playing with her own toy, go back in kitchen, continue washing dishes.
I'm not sure what happened next, since I had my head turned, but suddenly Cowpoke starts screaming and crying that really whiny cry, where you know they're not hurt, but they're not about to stop crying either, so you better see what's going on. Turn water off, dry hands, walk into living room to see what's going on. Cookie is sitting, grooming herself, looking completely innocent, so I'm sure she's done something. Cowpoke looks OK, so I pick him up for a second and love on him, only to discover I now have poop all over me. (Cowpoke's, not Cookie's.)
Clean baby, clean Mommy, change diaper and clothes. Give Cowpoke a toy, give Cookie a toy, walk into kitchen, start water. In less than a second, Cowpoke's tugging on one leg, Cookie's jumping up on my other leg, Mommy's going insane.
Number of dishes washed: 2.5
Number of times Mommy wanted to scream: 78
So, I give up! If you stop by my house today, you will see approximately 600 dirty dishes in my sink. You will also see a floor that needs to be vacuumed, and a kitchen that needs to be swept and mopped. But, in all this chaos and borderline filth, you will find a smiling mommy on the floor playing with her sweet baby boy and giving a much neglected kitty cat some loving. Ain't life grand?? :)
P.S.---As I type this, Cowpoke is still yanking on my pants leg, and is now hissing at me. So forgive any errors or craziness that doesn't make sense...it's hard to think when your baby starts hissing!!
