They've Turned Against Me!

I've heard that babies can speak to animals. Do you think this is true? I never did either. Until today, that is.

My baby boy and my sweet cat are conspiring against me. I don't think it was Cowpoke's idea. He really loves Mommy, and I just don't think he would have come up with the idea on his own. Cookie, on the other hand, has had it out for me since we brought this annoying baby home (her words...not mine). Or maybe Cowpoke doesn't even know about the plan, and is just a pawn in Cookie's game of revenge. Whatever it is, today it is driving me INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!

Cowpoke has decided today that he would really like to chew on Daddy's shoes. "No, no, Cowpoke. We don't chew on shoes. They're yucky." Turn my head for a second. "No, no Cowpoke. We don't chew on shoes. They're yucky." Put shoes away, and turn my head for a second. "What the heck?? Where did you find those?! No, no, Cowpoke. We don't chew on shoes. They're yucky." See the pattern? And how many shoes does Cowboy Man need? He's a man, for crying out loud!! Aren't they only supposed to need like 2 pairs of shoes?

So I finally distract him and get him playing with some acceptable toys, and start washing dishes. Suddenly my pajama pants hit the floor. What the? And there's Cowpoke, smiling, proud of himself for pantsing Mommy. (Now see, this is not an idea he would have come up with on his own...this is the work of a vengeful kitty cat!) So I pull my pants back up, tighten the draw string, and continue washing. Now he can't pull them down, but he can sure yank and yank on them and crawl all around my feet, in and out between my ankles. OK, that's kind of cute. Until Cookie decides he's not doing a good enough job of pushing Mommy over the edge. So she starts tirelessly running back and forth in the kitchen, jumping over Cowpoke's head. Of course she's barely clearing his head and giving me heart failure. OK...turn water off, pick Cowpoke up, put him back in living room, give him another toy, redirect Cookie into playing with her own toy, go back in kitchen, continue washing dishes.

I'm not sure what happened next, since I had my head turned, but suddenly Cowpoke starts screaming and crying that really whiny cry, where you know they're not hurt, but they're not about to stop crying either, so you better see what's going on. Turn water off, dry hands, walk into living room to see what's going on. Cookie is sitting, grooming herself, looking completely innocent, so I'm sure she's done something. Cowpoke looks OK, so I pick him up for a second and love on him, only to discover I now have poop all over me. (Cowpoke's, not Cookie's.)

Clean baby, clean Mommy, change diaper and clothes. Give Cowpoke a toy, give Cookie a toy, walk into kitchen, start water. In less than a second, Cowpoke's tugging on one leg, Cookie's jumping up on my other leg, Mommy's going insane.

Number of dishes washed: 2.5
Number of times Mommy wanted to scream: 78

So, I give up! If you stop by my house today, you will see approximately 600 dirty dishes in my sink. You will also see a floor that needs to be vacuumed, and a kitchen that needs to be swept and mopped. But, in all this chaos and borderline filth, you will find a smiling mommy on the floor playing with her sweet baby boy and giving a much neglected kitty cat some loving. Ain't life grand?? :)

P.S.---As I type this, Cowpoke is still yanking on my pants leg, and is now hissing at me. So forgive any errors or craziness that doesn't make sense...it's hard to think when your baby starts hissing!!

Just a Peek into Cowboy Man's Mind

Picture it: We're at Pier 1, and it's all decked out for Christmas. Gleaming lights, gorgeous deep red hues everywhere, and their best merchandise out for all to drool over and imagine in their homes. I am lost in the beauty of it all, just wishing I was there to buy something for me! I look up at my husband, and he has a thoughtful look on his face. I smile, knowing that my husband must be thinking the same thing I am thinking, which is how wonderful it would be to have so many of these things to make our home a beautiful Christmas showpiece. He looks down at me, smiles, and says, "All this stuff just looks like tomorrow's garage sale." *sighs* :)

Okay, Okay! Geez...

Okay. I know I haven't updated in awhile. I just haven't felt inspired to. I didn't really want this to be a blog that just updated everyone on how Cowboy Man and I are doing, like some Christmas newsletter. I wanted it to be a place where I only wrote about blog-worthy things. Funny and interesting things that happen that are just too good to keep to myself. Turns out, my life is pretty uninteresting!! SO...just to keep you all posted until I can come up with my next witty, hilarious, blog-worthy story, here's what's going on with us.

Cowboy Man is kicking butt in school. No seriously, he works over 50 hours most weeks, then goes to school two nights a week. He has an A in each of his classes, and his professor has even complimented him on his enthusiasm for the subject. He is registered for three classes next semester, so we are currently looking for fund-raising ideas. :) Too bad we can't sell cookie dough or popcorn (although if you're interested in either... haha).

I changed from teaching second grade last year to teaching fourth grade this year. Everyone asks with a twinkle in their eyes "So, how's THAT going?" It's different. That's pretty much all I can say on a public blog. It's very, very, very different. Today a kindergarten class passed by me with their sweet little turkey hats on that they had colored, and they all hugged me and told me they loved me. I refused to let a couple of them go until their teacher said I couldn't keep them. Then I turned around to my class. Instead of turkey hats, I saw sarcastic fourth grade expressions and kids chewing on erasers since I had made them spit their gum out. *sighs* But, the really good thing about fourth grade is you can give those sarcastic expressions right back, and they know what it means! A few days ago, I made my entire class MAD!!, then said in my sweetest, sappiest voice, "Now come give me a hug!" Not a single one of them got up! If that had happened last year, I would have had 22 kids get in line to hug me.

Cookie has decided that she no longer loves Cowboy Man or me, and tries to escape every chance she gets. But since she can't even hunt down a moth in our house with out Cowboy Man showing her where it is every few seconds, and she is also half the size of any of our neighborhood cats, she must remain an inside cat. She must have plotted and planned her most recent attempt for a good while, because the other day she shot out the door almost before it was even opened. She got far enough away that I thought she was gone, but thankfully a big bad speed bump in the road scared her. She stood there trying to figure out if she should walk over it long enough that we were able to catch up to her. She is currently plotting her revenge on us, and will retaliate as soon as she has come up with an acceptable plan, I'm sure.

So, that's our current life in a nutshell. I am on the look out for my next funny adventure about which to blog. (I almost said "to blog about," but as I am now an English teacher, I cannot end my sentences with prepositions. :) ) The holidays are coming up...I'm sure I'll have enough to write three pages. Love you all!!

That Dolly is a Huzzy!

What do you do when the water is too high in your yard for your dog to go outside? What the heck?! Did anyone else know we were going to get THIS much rain? I had to park at the mailbox and wade through several inches of rain to get home. Sister's four-pound Yorkie, Jackson, is staying with us while she is at the beach. He would literally have to swim if I let him out, so I'm hoping the water goes down soon! Hold it a little longer Jackson!! And speaking of the beach, my poor sister's family picked the worst week to go. She actually came home yesterday to pick up nephew's TV so he would have something to do. Last time someone in my family rented a beach cabin was September '05, and if you will think for just a second, you will remember what happened that month. Yes, my parents were evacuated from the beach cabin they rented during Hurricane Rita! So I'm thinking maybe we're jinxed...no more renting beach cabins for us. But for now, PLEASE Dolly, go away so Jackson can pee!

Our Patient

Cowboy Man is home resting peacefully (and loudly...he will probably have a sore throat tomorrow from all that snoring!). The surgery went well; hernia is gone! It was a very small hernia, and the surgeon was able to fix it with just a couple of stitches; he didn't even need to use the mesh. Apart from a little nausea, he's had no problems whatsoever. He drank a little chicken broth and had a few crackers to take his pain medication, and I've been in to check on him every half hour or so.

Dr. says the surgery was very easy, and the recovery should be relatively easy as well. He can drive as soon as he no longer needs pain meds, he can stand and walk around as soon as the anesthesia wears off enough, and he can even shower. He has no stitches on the outside; just the dermabond glue stuff. His only restrictions are no swimming for 1 week, and no lifting anything over 10 pounds for 6 weeks.

The member of our family that seems to be doing the worst with all of this is Cookie! She's a nervous wreck. I think she might be a little jealous, too. A minute ago I heard an awful sound and went running toward our bedroom, thinking something terrible had happened to Cowboy Man. What I found instead was Cookie, sitting in front of our bedroom door coughing. Not coughing enough to make me think she had a hairball (she's only had two in the entire year we've had her anyway), but just coughing enough for me to notice. As soon as I picked her up, she stopped. Hmmm....do cats fake coughs? I think ours might.

Thanks so much for all your prayers; God has truly blessed us. If anything else happens, I'll repost, but for now Cowboy Man should just get better and better every day, and will probably be back to work in a week or so! Love you all.

Hooters and Tampons and Thongs, Oh My!

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but what happens in Kemah goes in a blog for all to see! We had such a wonderful time, and even learned a little (actually, a lot) at the workshop we were there to attend. But of course when there are three women staying in one hotel room for four nights together, there are bound to be some adventures! To name a few, there was a bathing suit contest, a male stripper's very patriotic thong, and a male night receptionist who became easily confused by feminine products.


The bathing suit contest was not quite as adventurous as it seems. Our hotel was right down the street from the local Hooters restaurant. They had a sign wishing good luck to Nicole in her bathing suit contest, so Melissa and Katy took a picture. We were watching for a Congratulations sign, but one never came, so I guess poor Nicole didn't win. We were disappointed, because I wanted a picture of Hooters congratulating me to put on my myspace page! But alas, we cannot always have what we want. :o)



The greatest thing that happened during the entire trip occurred the first night. Melissa almost didn't survive it! I was sitting at the table on the computer, Katy was brushing her teeth in the bathroom, and Melissa had just stretched out in her bed. She very abruptly jumped up and screamed, and started doing the heebie-jeebie dance. I snapped my head around to see what could have caused this behavior, and in the middle of Melissa's bed, I see this:

What is that, you ask? Well it's a pair of shiny red, white, and blue male stripper's thongs! I thought Melissa was going to throw up, because she had touched those nasty things! We were freaking out! I mean, does this hotel even change the sheets between customers? Melissa was just about to call the front desk and demand that our stay there be free, when Katy (God love her) comes tripping out of the bathroom, holding her stomach, tears rolling down her face from laughing at us. She had planted those awful drawers! She says she got them as a gag gift, but we all know they're really Troy's. (Ha Ha Katy, I believe you that they were a gag gift. No really, I do!) Melissa ended up having all kinds of stomach problems for the rest of the night as a result of her daughter's betrayal!

Unfortunately, she wasn't the only one with a problem that night. One member of our trio realized that she had left her feminine products at home, and needed them at the precise moment that she realized this. So, I had the bright idea that we should call down to the front desk. They had this sign that said if you forgot any standard toiletry items you could call and they would give you some for free. Surely a pad would be considered a standard toilety item, right? Turns out, not only is it not standard, but the poor guy at the front desk didn't know what we were talking about. Now, to you, this may not be funny, but this was a source of entertainment for us for several hours. Of course, when we saw the guy, it made perfect sense that he didn't know (bless his heart), and he probably didn't even put two and two together when two girls dressed in PJ's left the hotel two minutes later and came back with a Walgreens bag.

There of course were countless other adventures, such as Katy cartwheeling across the stage at the workshop, Melissa "squashing Katy's dreams," which we even came up with a hand-motion for, watching a new version of the Wizard of Oz and The Bachelor, and piling six people into The Character Caravan, but I won't bore you with those. I just listed them to be a nice reminder to the three of us who were there. We met new friends, were pampered like we'd never been pampered at a workshop before, and learned all kinds of new things about teaching and each other. And hopefully, we'll get to relive all of it at the alumni workshop next year (minus the thongs maybe)!

(To the rest of the "Buna Bunch," Melissa and Katy: not only did I list, but I also webbed on each part of the list, included a couple of transitions between paragraphs, and could have worked much more on my lexicon! Randi would be so disappointed!!)

Update on Cowboy Man's surgery

Cowboy Man's surgery is at the beginning of next week. I was wrong about the anesthesia; they are using general anesthesia. We've got everything ready, and once he's had the surgery I will update. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers!